Another time, another place
another hope, another bunch of goals
a different life
and gone with it part of my soul
feelings sorted out and cast away
words lost in the past
No way back
only in memories
a faint ache
for “what if?” and “why did life change?”
lost with the past
is some of my inspiration
for it was tied to persons
that I held too dear.
I cannot carry the songs
about the wonders of their souls
into the present.
I wrote this in August 2013 when looking through my old poetry and musings on deviantArt one month before I got married. As it is with many people who write emotional pieces, a lot of my old work was related to heartache, moving town, saying goodbye, and growing up. Being in a relationship and having a group of local friends makes writing feel … different. Difficult. I still could write about the past, but I try to keep myself from doing so, out of respect for people I love – and for my own sanity. No need to open old wounds, to start asking the same old questions again.
My favourite writer on deviantArt, Megan, emptied her account http://thefireflyliberation.deviantart.com/ and opened a new one http://seafishandstarfire.deviantart.com/ (yay!), but all her old writing is gone. And in addition even her book (formerly available via the book-on-demand service “Blurb”) has disappeared from the Internet. Just like me she got married last year, has grown up, and left all the old heartache-inspired words behind her new self.
So please, if anyone here by chance owns the book “The Firefly Liberation” by Megan Madgwick and is willing to sell, lend, or whatever it to me, let me know. I’m looking for a copy desperately, sadly I never bought one when it was possible because the shipping was too expensive for me at that time :(