Reasons why city people are weird: part 3

Welcome back.

Another weird phenomenon among city dwellers is the use of absurd or simply impractical variants of items. Some examples that made me loose my faith in common sense still being a common trait in humans:

–  For the last few years I observed several females wearing high-heeled winter boots. Seriously, what’s the use of a good tread of shoe when only one third of your foot actually touches the ground while you’re balancing on a narrow heel?

– Generally high heels as everyday footwear. Each summer there are some girls wobbling around on campus and trying to escape the pitfalls of old cobblestones.

– White prams/strollers. Just recently I saw a young mother with a posh new pram covered in shiny white cushioning and topped off with a matching set of bags. Did I mention this is a city with a lot of rain and the kind of dirt that comes with it (e.g. cars driving through muddy puddles at full speed)? And even though I’m not an expert on children I don’t think the fabric will stay nice and white even with that lousy excuse for a rain cover she had put on top.

– Purses instead of backpacks, no matter what the occasion. I tried it for a while, but it only resulted in holes appearing where the straps were attached to the bag (I hate fake leather for this!) and me getting backaches and sore shoulders from the unevenly distributed weight of books, not to mention feeling insecure because the purse hindered my movements. I don’t want to imagine the back problems the teenage-girls of this generation will have in the future with all the school stuff they carry around in purses. Ouch.

– Purses too small to hold even a bottle of water or the things one buys. I pity the women walking around with their hands full of plastics bags cutting into their palms, all for the sake of feminine style – and it doesn’t even look very feminine at all, because most real life women just don’t strut like models when loaded with their purchases. Most waddle. Waddling is not attractive in either gender.

– Anoraks/parkas not long enough to cover the area of the kidneys on windy days with sub-zero degrees. No words for that.

– Cell phones that need to be recharged every single day.

– Long artificial (or reinforced) fingernails interfering with one’s ability to work. Bad enough if donned for a special occasion, but some women seem to wear them all the time. It looks so weird and painful when these individuals fumble around to get something done without damaging their nail “art” – have you ever watched a woman with fingernails nearly twice the normal length opening the fastening of her purse, digging around in it, and then trying to unfold a tissue to blow her nose? And the sound of the shop assistant’s fingernails tapping on the touch screen of the cash register makes me cringe. A marvel of technology that the screen isn’t broken yet. There is a funny German word for this kind of nail adornment, by the way: Pornoschaufeln, literally meaning ‘porn scoops’.

Sorry if I hurt any lady feelings here, I just noticed that almost all of the items on my list are women’s stuff. We’ll, no, I’m not really sorry, just a tiny little bit. Sorry for not being sorry. See you around!

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