Musings on Divergent

*May contain spoilers and random fangirling*

So I guess everyone and their dog have watched and/or read “Divergent” by now. Well, okay, most people where I live haven’t, shame on them and blame on the movie guys who decided on really weird “translations” for the movie title and the faction names and the word divergent itself. No, guys, just no – divergent doesn’t mean anything like ‘undetermined’. Go check your dictionary. Arrgh.

I missed the movie when it played so I waited for the DVD release. And what can I say, it was well worth the wait, I really enjoyed watching it a) in the original English version, and b) at home at night with Darling instead of a crowd of random people. We watched the movie. And then the movie with the audio comment. And then at least part of it with the other audio comment. Last week I started listening to the first book online, while browsing jewellery and clothing and stuff. Today I finished it and ordered a box set of all three novels as paperbacks. And I’ll start listening to “Insurgent” right now.

It’s a quite rare thing for me to get weird dreams from movies or TV shows – so far the Stargate: SG1 universe has been the one with the most frequent cameos in my dreamscape. After watching Divergent my brain needed several nights to sort all the images and ideas and awesomeness, resulting in dreams full of hazy pictures and blurry colours. Maybe it was because there are few characters and situations on screen I can relate to in a really intense way or which make me emotional. I have cried on maybe five to ten occasions because of something in a movie, and twice it was Twilight related; which had been totally unexpected and still confuses me. Come on, me crying while/after watching the Twilight movies, really? WTF?

Whatever. So, Divergent didn’t make me cry, but it stirred something inside me. Like Tris I come from a rather conservative background where I was expected to be helpful and friendly towards everyone. I still partly live in this subculture, not really fitting in as I struggle with the idea of helping people who disgust me, of forgiving easily, of being friendly when I want to slap my opponent hard across the face because they seem to be dumber than I can take. A subculture that would be shocked if they knew all the aggression I work hard to channel into more constructive paths. Paths like martial arts and writing and drawing fake tattoos on my hands with eye liner. I’m torn between safety and escaping boredom, between ethics and the fine line to false sweetness easily crossed. I’m intelligent and love learning, but it can’t be my one and all. I want to be so much more. I want to run down stairs in wildness, I want to be noticed in a positive way, I want camaraderie like the Dauntless have and like I see it among capoeiristas sometimes. Just like Tris I’m not exceptionally pretty nor strong, just like her I want to be stronger and able to take care of myself.

Watch me joining the Dauntless bandwagon, wohooo ^^

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