reasons to create

I create so I won’t forget the density of a moment, the richness of colours and emotions growing in the cracks of everyday life’s grey concrete.

Sometimes a moment is so beautiful, so intense, so wild and raw that the idea of forgetting its fullness scares me. I wish I was able to capture it in pencil, paints, or a brilliant photograph, knowing I will fail. A picture would never do the multidimensional magic of a moment any fraction of justice.

I create in the hope that others will take the time to understand the way I perceive the world, the weird ways of my inner cosmos.

I don’t see the world the way most people around me do. What they deem beautiful I perceive as sensory overload, loud and clashing and evoking a bad taste in my mouth; while what is wonderful to me in their eyes is trash, boring, mundane, or even so small and trival they don’t notice it at all. I call it the ability to see “the beauty inbetween”, to “create magic” in my mind. Taking pictures of small wonders is my try to guide other people’s view, direct their gaze to the invisible lines my mind draws, connecting thought, sensation, trees and stars and summer hay.

I create to remind people of the beauty that lies in the simple, ordinary things.

The beauty I see can’t be bought from mass-producing factories – at least in most cases – and can’t be foretold in terms of shape, colour, or perfection. Beauty is what happens in tiny corners, in the hands of a child, a foggy morning, between dewy blades of grass and ashy rocks. Beauty isn’t static, visible, but a warm, filling, overwhelmingly enveloping atmosphere of grace, the thankfulness for a friend’s genuine smile and the smell of fresh bread.

I create to deal with personal hardships – with a troubled past, a confusing present, the scary uncertainty of the near future.

Being able to create reminds me that I’m still alive, that I’m not completely broken, because I’m still able to see beauty and feel love and learn friendship. Writing is the way to connect isolated objects, dreams, ideas; and it is the goal, the reason to keep my mind open to the world, the things and people in it. The process of composition, of taking a photograph is meditation and the result the source for new contemplation. I write promises to myself, reminders of feelings, solutions and inconsistencies and chaos.

I create to feel. I create because I feel. I create so others will feel with me. I create to conserve a moment to feel it anew in the future.

 

~

Originally written as a response to To be an Artist… on DeviantArt; then the original author challenged me to write it out. The parts in italics are from my original comment, the other lines are my thoughts from today. If you are interested in our little discussion about this longer version, please visit my post on DeviantArt http://fav.me/d87ylfe.

Haiku for Darling.

~
touching red harp-strings
my curious mind’s blue notes
half of my prism heart
~

blizzard rage (a haiku)

burning with cold fire

all the passion of blizzards
distilled in one glance

 

 

~

I was angry last night, because not for the first time some creepy guy followed me out of the train station and nudged me twice on the way. I hate it when strangers follow me and touch me to get my attention despite all of my attempts to signal disinterest. A cold fire in my heart.

And obviously I’m writing a lot of winter themed stuff at the moment. The next one or two will be about something different, I promise!

winter promises (a haiku)

winter promises
memories of warmer days
whispered in cold nights

~

A sequel to my haiku “the smell of winter”. Somehow the words “winter promises” stuck in my mind and had to become part of something else. There is a bigger picture, but at the moment I lack the words to capture it in all its nuances, so an open, ongoing series of short pieces of writing is all I can try, following the random strings and paths my thoughts weave.

the smell of winter (a haiku)

fog and wood-fire
cold air full of promises
the smell of winter

~

My haiku for today. So much fog. It made the train ride across the arms of the river more interesting; I was hardly able to see any water, but the little banks of land with golden trees looked beautiful and mythical when appearing out of the fog, just to fade again. The scent of burning wood from some chimneys, the sharp cold in the morning just above zero degrees … it makes me feel alive.

I miss winter (a narrative poem I wrote last week)

I used to like the cold
then I turned to warmth, to summer heat, to storms and thunder on sweltering days, to soft autumn glory
but now I remember how open fields of snow used to give me space to breathe, a canvas for clear thoughts
and I recall how my lungs opened, exhaling dust and taking in the cold expanse of mountain ranges for the first time
I miss real winter

last night I discovered
that my unlikely muse is not only autumn at the turning point to clear winter,
with warm forest-wood eyes and at the same time piercing snowflakes
but the calm and steady touchstone of warmth on these cold days as well,
a blanket of friendly thoughts keeping the wind outside a Nordic wood cabin full of white pillows
so yes, I miss winter now

capoeira progress report, addendum

Today I went to capoeira class for the fourth time this week (crazy, I know) and felt pretty tired from the last three sessions already, but I’m glad I did go. At some point everybody started doing handstands, and as I can’t do a handstand in the middle of the room yet (even against the wall it doesn’t work most of the time) I decided to work on pressing into a headstand instead. So I got into the frog position, quickly put my head on the floor before I could lose balance, and tried to press my legs up, as I had been doing every now and then for over a year. Lo and behold, instead of feeling like bricks my knees suddenly left my elbows and I stood in a half headstand! I was able to reproduce this position a few times, and even though I wasn’t able to lift my legs all the way into a vertical position it felt awesome. I guess the soft floor in the dojo where today’s class took place was a big factor; when I went home and tried to press up into the headstand again I failed at first because the hard floor hurt my head, but when I placed a folded hoodie under my head it was easier. Lesson learned: take a soft hoodie to class in case of doing headstands. As I learn to hold my balance and place more weight on the hands I’ll try to get used to the hard floor (or move on to a handstand), but that’s for another year.

New goal for the remaining weeks of this year: learning to press up into a full headstand (with the help of a hoodie on the floor and a wall behind me  Update: been there, done that by end of November!

Goal for next year: press up into a handstand from a headstand against the wall

Favourite Friday: inspirational capoeira videos

Recently I discovered some really cool and inspirational capoeira videos on YouTube, and I’d like to share my favourites with you.

“Girl on Fire”, the capoeira edition

She’s awesome, isn’t she?

 

Soul Capoeira: ground movement combination

This isn’t extraordinarily spectacular, but a great inspiration because I want to get better at playing close to the ground, so this nice little sequence is my goal for next year. Still working on a decent queda de rins, though … but seeing what can be done with it makes me keep trying.

 

More Soul Capoeira:

This guy reminds me of a dancing rain drop (especially with the music in this video) – his movements are so fluent, but slow and defined enough for the eyes to follow. Watching this video makes me fall in love with capoeira over and over again.

 

Last but not least: dancing with a chair

 

What’s your inspiration?

 

snow paper (a haiku)

blankly staring mind
days of empty white paper
a blanket of snow

~

I should call this one ‘my mind went blank because I’m so tired’. Sifting through files upon files in search of verbs is tiring, but I have to go back to it tomorrow. The show must go on.

And I decided to create a separate page for all the random haikus I coming to my tired mind late at night during the months of writing my master’s thesis. If you are interested in reading an ever growing list of short tree-liners, just hover your mouse pointer over the “Poetry&Prose” tab or click here. Some less artistic haikus which I don’t want to post as blog entries will find a home there as well.

Good night :)

video of the day: capoeira photography with pyrotechnics

Found this today and thought that some folks here might like it :) Capoeira + photography + pyrotechnics = awesome

And they did the shooting in an old abbey, which adds extra awesomeness.