Wild Wandering Dreams

Wild dreams wearing the colour of thunderheads on their fingernails tap against the window glass:
drink up your shot of storm, refill your flask from the well of rain-bright eyes, we’re off to hills of lightning shards, sharp to the touch but soft to the sole, we’re going to walk the tide-lines of cloudy mountains filling the basin of night, waves rolling with roaring flashes and sea foam towers, toppling across castles of brittle days; we’re off to wander up and down the stairs that collaps behind us as we circle untamed landmarks in weaving patterns making sense only to dream-creatures lurking somewhere deep in earthen bellies, snakes curled up in coils and loops mapping out the journey in stars.

Fragments of Faerie

Part of me lives in fragments
of faerie and every wild thing
field of vision half covered
by climbing vines
not sure where sun turns to mist
no creature, only sound
found in between
found in the cracks of backyards
and lost between two blinks
images shifting
rarely coming at will
but late summer always arrives
when least expected
and thins the veil
between sleep and book pages.

Almost, Almost

Almost the Milky Way
and a flash of Orion,
a sliver of Venus and the horizon;
almost, almost I see,
and I miss you, oh, I miss you,
I miss you I miss you

— and I’m almost a wolf again,
against the ice of moon and sky,
running for the life of the fog
chasing mountains, almost, almost;

and I’m lost in the city sky,
drowned in light-blue washout
of never quite night,
but almost, almost.

Dark Dragon Dreams

Speak your words into the darkness,
maybe they’ll be heard
by a dark matter dragon,
resident of midnight indigo,
summoning it from the void,
calling it to you across invisible seas
and through the cosmic maelstroms;

and maybe it will grant you
a dreamland ride
to the end of all things
and the silver start of tomorrow.

Night Songs

Tired clouds and sleepy stairwells,
A castle of night on tides of sand,
The waves crashing heartbeats
Against wooden drums;

Oceans of stars and tide-pools of dust,
Sleepless walls leaning into cotton,
The winds blowing gently
Through bone-flutes of reeds;

A million steps marching soundless,
Across dreamless strands,
The caressing fingers of darkness
From deepest depths play hair-harp tunes.

SciFi/Space Soundscape (Creating an Atmosphere with myNoise)

What is better than reading or writing about space? Immersing yourself in a matching atmosphere while doing so. Put on lights that reflect the mood of your literary adventure (or academic endeavour) and turn on sounds that carry you across the cosmos. Listening to music can be distracting, especially if it contains lyrics, but how about a gently rumbling Warp Drive or electric winds humming in tune with the fish tank on your space station?

I bet most of you have heard (of) noise generators online by now. My favourite one is myNoise*, which has a lot of really cool features. If you donate a small amount, you get some more, like stacking several sound generators in a convenient mega generator. But even with the free version you can listen to more than one generator at the same time, you just have to wait a bit in between starting them.

If you love Star Trek and science fiction or space in general, there are some generators you might enjoy in particular:

I like to pair one of these with Distant Thunder (Thunder and Rain), Church (Beatae Memoriae/All Souls’ Day; I disable the sliders that have voices), and occasionally Cat Purr*** (Furry Friend).

There is also a huge amount of technical noises if you enjoy this kind of environmental sound. I’m more a fan of combining space-travelling ambience with natural sounds, like the aforementioned thunder and rain, or a Japanese garden, water flowing in a cave … it gives me a sense of calm anticipation, like exploring the vastness of space and a serene/solitary planet side at once – or sitting in the arboretum/experimental garden of a spaceship, reading, dreaming of rainy days. The feelings I get from these combined atmospheres can range from carefree relaxed curiosity (great for studying) to sweet aching loneliness in the face of a cold, dark stretch of empty space and feeling like none of my friends understands the way space touches me.

Three other reasons why I love myNoise:

  1.  All the generators have nice descriptions, e.g., about the recording process, the intended atmosphere, … and warnings about negative effects on some (if you are sensitive, check the descriptions first on generators from the “Brainwaves” section!
  2. When a user comments on a particular generator, their current settings are saved as well and you can click on the blue heart next to a comment to listen in.
  3. The “animate” feature, which somehow randomizes around your current settings so you can listen longer without tiring.

When you want to return or look back to your home planet, you could check out the generator called Planet Earth, which “relies on a subset of the Golden Record tracks” (and sounds quite chaotic when all sliders are turned on).

What is your favourite generator? Do you use music or soundscapes for creative writing or painting? I’d love to see your art!

Safe journey.

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* This is NOT a sponsored post (though I would definitely accept sponsorship from this cool page …), I just really enjoy the generators on that page because they help me focus at work and stay relaxed in the office cacophony.

** Names in brackets are the ones you’ll see on top of the generator itself after clicking on the respective link, sometimes they are different from the link labels in the overview page.

*** Leave a comment if you get the reference ;)

What If I Just Want a Simple Life?

I get bombarded by notions of how I should live my life as a still kind of young adult. Travel, do crazy things, meet a million people, go to festivals all the time, party hard, eat at fancy places, save the world, be a sparkly social unicorn, …

Yes, sounds nice, but for the moment, I just want a simple life. I want to work, train capoeira, make art, learn about things at my own pace, sleep, watch the snail I put into a jar to keep it for a few days before releasing it again, I want to watch clouds and listen to thunderstorms, I wish I had more friends to simply hang out with to talk, sunset hugs, sit at the beach at night; I want to have more energy to ride my bike out of the city in my free time, just feel my kind of freedom again, or read more books again. Travelling all over the world is for another year. I want to be content, have what I need, feel secure for a while. I miss the fields, the old paths, poppies and green turning to gold, summer nights spent outside. I love and hate the big city. I love and hate what I left, what I lost because I had to run off with what was left of my sanity and sense of self, and I love and hate the melancholy of being stuck between these worlds. I long for friends and community and solitude at the same time. I’m dreaming of a small rustic house with a garden and a studio at the edge of a forest right beside the modern city, with friends willing to come over for stargazing. I want a simple life with space for my complex inner world.

Vague Thoughts

I have a lot of thoughts in my head these days, but they are somewhat vague, some hazy, some blurred, some to quick and complex to be caught in words yet. I want to write more again, more often, more organized. I tried to push forward in life and suppressed that creative voice inside, tried to find a more grown-up creativity, tried to press myself in a mold I won’t ever fit. Lately I’ve been going back to reading my old stories – the really crazy, surreal ones (mostly SciFi fanfiction with random strange occurrences) – and to watching the old shows that had been my refugium in teenage years. I want to write again, and try to voice my old sense of wonder again, to put down the absurd episodes my brain brings up whenever given the opportunity to breathe. Maybe someday I’ll find a story that will be wondrous enough to captivate others.

Also, future not clear yet. Destination unknown. Vague ideas, nothing tangible.